i guess i should stop blaming others for the bad in my life, like one of my friends stated, your the one bringing in the drama and i am and i hate it.
I have always broken up with guys because something was wrong with them or something they did but i guess I'm just a picky nit-picker. or i might have just subconsciously dumped the guys i was dating because i knew that they would have done it to me sooner or later.
i dunno, i feel like most of the relationships that I've been in have mostly been about sex, i mean i don't do this intentionally but that's just how it always ended up and was usually the reason. It always made me feel like crap when i knew that that was the only reason i was around or worth dating. sure some guys say that its not about the sex and sex is not important but i think its important-not that we should do it but the fact that having/not having sex.
i really don't want to start my next relationship based on all of this. i don't want to feel worthless anymore. i have been a great girlfriend and i feel like the way i have been treated by my ex were so demeaning.
i don't want to stop believing that there is someone out there who will love me for me.
thinking about celibacy but I'm not sure. I just don't want to be in a relationship where sex or sex-related activities are the main focal points of the relationship.
I guess i am just saying sorry to myself for letting go of my own standards and letting guys treat me like crap.
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